Men of Cedar

More Good Days

2010-04-22T22:32:00.000-07:00

   It's been a couple of weeks already since the men's treat at Manzanita and I suspect they've gone as fast for you as they have for me. The day I came home from the beach I realized how much I had needed that time away. Along with the good group and meal times, it refreshed my soul just to play  (check out a short video of the weekend here).
   Have you ever considered why childhood is such a magical time for most people? Think about it. A good day, when you were a kid was filled with learning something new every day at school, having lunch with best friends, playing at recess, a hug from mom after school along a plate of cookies, and playing outside until you got called in for dinner. After dinner you took a warm bath, someone read a story to you, kissed you on the cheek and tucked you in a warm bed.
   What's missing in a typical day once you're an adult? Okay, it might be the hugs, but I think it's especially the part about learning something new every day and playing with friends. Even if we get some exercise, it's normally on a treadmill or in a gym. The fun factor isn't exactly high. How much better would life be if we got out and played more with our friends? The retreat reminded me how important it is to play. My preferred mode of play is physical. For the first few days after the weekend, I was deliriously sore. Your play mode may be entirely different.
   With that in mind, how about getting together more often for some fun? If you're around on May 30th, come out and play! We'll do pizza and see the new movie, Robin Hood. The 30th is a Sunday (Memorial Day weekend) so, for anyone interested, we could shoot some hoops beforehand too. When the movie comes out we'll set a time.

   Finally, I hope that there are some lingering memories of the ideas we chewed on at the beach. To review:

Friday night we asked each other, "How full is your tank?" We looked at Jonah, Jeremiah, Job, Jesus - each had times when they pretty much ran out of fuel for various reasons and we talked about ways we relate to them. We noted how consistently being or feeling alone is a factor that leads to running on empty.
Saturday morning we made our "window of drain" with post-its and spent a good chunk of time in 1 Kings 18-19 with Elijah as he was first used by God in huge ways, but was emptied and ran away before hearing God's restoring whisper on Mt. Horeb.
Saturday night we explored the Genesis story and the power of purpose and meaning to refill us. We discussed Adam's relationship with God, self, creation and others - and how we are filled when those relationships are rightly connected. David F. Wallace's commencement speech and suicide both inspired and warned us.

How are you doing since we came away from that time? Have you let God use whatever he pointed out to you? Did you make any sort of pledge to God or yourself that you need to check on now? Think it over. Let's help each other keep those ideas warm and our spirits full.
- Curtis
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Also coming up: In early May (tentatively Saturday May 8th), you're invited to help build 3 raised garden beds at Trihaven house. Growing their own veggies will be both therapeutic and healthy for the residents - and fun to work on with them. Let me know if you'd like to help with this worthwhile one-day project.

Men's Beach Retreat April 9-11, 2010

2010-02-02T14:39:00.000-08:00

Men’s Beach Retreat

Running on Empty
April 9-11, 2010

Book: A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, by Eugene Peterson
(Colossians 2:8-10)

I had my oil changed the other day. Yeah, I wanted to do it on my own, but my 2008 Honda Civic is built so low to the road that I can't even get underneath it without ramps, and I don't have those...so that's a great excuse to take it in and get er done...
When the oil change was complete, the tech said,
"You know how to reset the engine oil monitor, right?"
"Nope, you guys always do it."
So he tried showed me how - which didn't work at first. So he read the instructions from his manual:
"Turn ignition off." Check.
"Turn ignition on and hold the reset button until it blinks for 10 seconds." Check.
"It should then blink more quickly; hold down for additional 5 seconds." Check. And viola, it worked. The oil indicator read "100%" and all the blinking warning lights and wrench pictures disappeared from the dashboard. I drove away with an actual feeling of having cleansed some dark goo from my car; replacing it with something light and healthy. My Honda was 100% reset and ready to drive.

I guess I'm mixing my metaphors, but I thought about that oil changing/resetting experience and our upcoming retreat at Manzanita (April 9-11). The theme this year is Running On Empty (no, not Time to Change the Oil). One of the things that a retreat often does for us is provide a time to do an emotional and spiritual "reset." Could you benefit from God resetting your heart, mind and life? I suspect that almost all of us could use that.

Still not sure? Running on Empty can creep up on us. Often, we don't even know we're getting close to empty. Ask yourself, "Are any of these 'warning lights' on for me?" Do you sometimes . . .

Feel like you're living on a treadmill
Trying hard to live right, but you're not getting where you want to be or sure you're making progress
Tired of the same ole thing and tired of being tired of the same ole thing
Recently told your wife or a close friend, “I just want to run away” - or you've had that thought
Have stopped sharing much of yourself with your family and good friends, feeling like no one knows what's going on for you
Seldom or never pray because you don’t have the energy or desire
Feel pressured at work, pressured at home
Think you're not the husband you want to be, or the “success” you dreamed you'd be
Feel like you're frequently drained of energy and enthusiasm
Looking for solutions, seldom finding any that work for long
Are tempted to escape into distractions that eat away at your soul instead of feeding it ( destructive relationships, substances, porn, pointless computer time or other diminishing pursuits, etc)

If you relate to some of the statements above, or if you've ever been there in the past and have learned some things that could help others, then this year's Men of Cedar beach retreat is for you. It's not about finding easy answers to Running On Empty (because those don't work), but about discovering how God seeks to fill us up our empty tanks for the long haul. The reality is, we can run out of umph in just about any part of our lives: Our work, marriages, parenting, friendships, and with God. Sometimes we find good ways to fill up and replenish ourselves, but we also can get sucked into things that promise relief, but deliver even more emptiness.

The recommended book for this year's retreat has been recognized as a classic, and I first read it over twenty years ago. It's not a "how-to" book. Instead, it's a readable study of Psalms 120-134 which talk about life as a journey towards the city of God. It's called, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, by Eugene Peterson (the guy who translated The Message version of the bible). It's available for about $10 on Amazon or you can get it in a variety of versions, including an audio mp3 format from Barnes and Noble here.
A quote from the chapter on Psalm 126:

"A common but futile strategy for achieving joy is trying to eliminate things that hurt: get rid of pain by numbing the nerve ends, get rid of insecurity by eliminating risks, get rid of disappointments by depersonalizing your relationships. And then try to lighten the boredom of such a life by buying joy in the form of vacations and entertainment. There isn't a hint of that in Psalm 126."

As always the retreat format will include lots of time to do whatever you want. After the Saturday morning group time, you'll have all of Saturday to do whatever you want: Hike, bike, sleep, read, take pictures, kayak (there's a 2 hr loop on the Nehalem river that includes a stop for pizza by the river - good stuff...), watch movies - whatever fills you up. If you've been before, you know that there's a very good chance you'll encounter God at the beach. If you're running on empty in any part of your life - then I think you'll enjoy the retreat this year.

Details: Bill McSwain is again doing his bang-up job of handing the details for the retreat. He's reserved a house in Manzanita. The costs at all the houses have gone up (thanks recession!), but we've done our best to keep things simple. $115 will get you two OR three nights at the house, all meals and snacks included. The retreat runs Friday-Sunday, but we get the 3rd night free, so you're welcome to stay and have more time to yourself from Sunday to Monday - I'll be staying too. You're on your own for the book, but I highly recommend it - it will make good reading at the beach even if you don't get to it beforehand. Important: If you would like to attend, but are having trouble coming up with the funds, do not let that be a barrier.
Come.
We'll work out the finances - just contact me (Curt) or Bill and we'll make sure you can attend. Or let me know if you have questions! Hope to see you at Manzanita April 9-11.

- Curtis

Good Times Backpacking

2009-08-31T23:56:00.000-07:00

Backpack/Camping Trip Coming Up Fast, August 21-24

2009-08-06T18:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Men!

I'm back fresh from a couple of weeks of vacation and good times with family. Added to that, Vacation Bible School is over, and I'm catching up on our late plans for the upcoming Man-Father-Son-Daughter Backpacking trip coming up in just a couple of weeks. We're going to Burnt Lake near Mt. Hood. Kevin Curry has been there for a b-pack trip before and gives it high marks. Burnt Lake is a moderate intensity hike that isn't too long. Just over an hour or so away by car, it is a good spot to pack in about 3 miles and then set up camp for day hikes, exploring and fun in the lake. Even younger kids should do fine. The lake is swimmable and fishable. It seems like a perfect place for a variety of fitness levels and ages.

Go here for a site with some good info about Burnt Lake, including the directions and a description of the hike. Our final info & directions will be sent out soon. Also, our main Men of Cedar website has some additional pictures and links to more info about the region.

We'll plan on leaving from the church by 1 PM on Friday Aug 21st and return Monday. If you need to meet us at the trailhead, let me know and we can work that out. Shoot me an email or give me a call if you plan on attending - which I hope you are! Also if you need gear - a pack, sleeping bag, tent, etc - let me know and I'm sure we can turn up extra stuff to share.

- Curtis

Trouble with Authority? Another Dream...

2009-05-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

It isn't that I dream every night. Not by any means. But I do think dreams tell us things about ourselves or God or sometimes both.
Last night I had a choppy dream about cars, driving and police. It began abrubtly with me climbing into a car which was similar to my 5 speed Honda Civic. I was in an unfamiliar place which seemed familiar in my dream. The day felt overcast; rather dimly lit, but not night. Kind of like a Terminator movie feel. As I got behind the wheel, there was an urgency to get someplace, but I have no idea where that was. So I popped it into first, then second and third, peeling out of the parking lot and onto a curvy road. I was speeding. The thought entered my mind, I'm not driving very carefully, but I need to get where I'm going. And so on I drove, swinging around corners, crossing the center line just a bit - careful, I thought, but reckless, I knew. Alongside the road were dense bushes and trees and as I headed towards a freeway crossing, it wasn't clear which lane would take me south onto the freeway. I guessed wrong and went up over the freeway, about to head north. At the last minute I turned hard to the left, pulling my front end into the oncoming lane, which was thankfully free. I slid across the lane, onto the dirt shoulder and hit a curb of some sort. I wondered what minor damage might have been done. Not stopping to look, I hit the gas and quickly accelerated back over the freeway. Well done, I thought to myself.
Then I looked up ahead. There, alongside the road facing the direction I was now traveling, was a police car. His lights and engine were off. He must have seen everything as I went by him.

I was dead meat.

So, as any law-abiding citizen would do, I went by him at exactly the speed limit, not bothering to glance his direction in the desperate hope that he would have mercy on someone who must now seem harmless.
Just to be safe, I pulled into a crowded parking lot of a pub and tried to disappear in the mix of cars - just as I saw his patrol lights come on. I pulled into a spot, hoping he would drive on by but knowing he would not.
He didn't.
Instead he pulled up behind me with his lights flashing and suddenly we were inside the pub. Standing toe to toe, he asked me, Do you know why I pulled you over? (Apparently they pull this even in dreams). I knew better than to admit guilt publicly, but something within me hoped for leniency. I replied, Well, I was driving recklessly.
I don't recall what he said next, but the look in his face wasn't what I hoped. The officer stuffed a small pink slip of paper in my hand, only a bit larger than a bookmark. The slip was a grocery list of infractions, but it was not a ticket. I was confused. He smiled a bit and said, Take this to the studio.
The studio?
Yeah, the MTV studio. They're doing a new reality show about people who get caught on the roads. You'll compete and it will legally take care of your infraction. It beats going to court.

He was giving me a break.

Yet the first thing to pop into my mind was, Egads! I'm a pastor! Everyone will see what an idiot I've been to drive recklessly, endangering others! And they'll see what a dork I am on TV! But this is a break - it won't go on my record. What to do?! I even remember thinking, Oh crap. Greg Hammerly is going to completely lose respect for me (he's a good friend & driving instructor).

And then I awoke.

Ah, one other thing: When I looked at the pink slip from the officer, he had written across it, at an angle, one word: Disputed.
Oddly, this is the same word that popped up in a couple of weeks ago in a dream about a lousy motel room I didn't want to pay for. I signed the bill with the word "Disputed" instead of my name. Both people were some sort of gatekeeper or authority - a jerky motel manager and a somewhat merciful police officer. One time I wrote "disputed" and this time the officer did. Hmm.
Care to share your interpretations? Or your own dreams?
- Curtis

Equipped for the Climb

2009-05-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

Hello Men!

It's been a couple of weeks since our men's retreat and so I thought I'd follow up on things. First, I'm trying to get things together for a Summer '09 Backpacking trip. Go to our main Men of Cedar page - HERE - and you'll find a Video News segment about the trip and also a calendar you can click on to help us find a date that works for the most people possible. Please email me with questions.

I also hope that we don't squander the good new or re-newed connections that were made at the retreat. I trust that some good new friendships were made or deepened. Take that gift and keep it alive by just giving another man a call and go do an outing of some sort. The weather is finally going to get nice so go for a hike! There are also some good movies coming out this summer, so catch one with with a group of guys. Perhaps a group would be interested in grabbing a pizza and going to one of the movies together. Let's stay connected in fun ways as well as just hoping we chat at church.

I thought I'd finish by sharing part of a dream I had this last week. I'm a big believer that God sometimes speaks to us through dreams - not all dreams, but some. I don't know for sure if this was a "God-dream" or not, but I wouldn't be surprised.

The dream started abruptly with me, two good friends, and a lot of other guys at the bottom of a steep mountain. We were going to climb it together. I didn't know any of the other men besides my friends, and no one seemed particularly friendly. They were just focused on getting ready for the climb. It wasn't clear to me why, but I didn't know what kind of climb we were undertaking before I arrived. I came with all the equipment for a run-of-the-mill packing trip (you can tell backpacking has been on my mind): tent, pack, trail boots, variety of food and snack, water bottles. What became painfully clear, though, was that this was a mountain-climbing trip - as in ropes and hammers and hooks, and spiked climbing shoes. Yikes. Everything I have with me is pretty much useless and could even hold me back in a climb like this.

We spent the night in a cave at the base of the first cliff we had to climb and it was there that I confessed to my two friends that I don't have the right equipment (one friend, who shall remain nameless - might read this and know that he's heard me make the same real-live confession before...). I don't know why I'm the only one that doesn't have the equipment for the climb. So I feel stupid, and inexperienced. My friends tell me, "Don't worry about it. We have the stuff for the climb. We'll all work together and it will be fine." Easy words that I doubt. But the next morning we're off.

At this point - has this happened to you? - I realize, in my dream, that I'm dreaming. The anxiety level of the dream reaches a point where the dream fog is pierced. Reality invades. But I don't want to wake up, so I start thinking in my dream, "I'm going to keep dreaming, but I'm going to change this dream so that I do have the right stuff with me; so that I can do this!"

It doesn't work. I wake up and, as always, I can't re-start a dream I want to. Always the crappy dreams can restart on their own, but never one you want to go on with.

I'm not completely sure, but I think this dream was about feeling a lack of confidence in my own abilities, in my own skin; feeling like I don't have the right stuff to "climb" some mountains in my life right now. Maybe God is reminding me that he's given me other people to help me on the climb. That, no, I don't have everything I need by myself and that I can't fake it when the climb is steep. But I'm not alone. - Curtis

Off the Leash

2009-03-06T07:43:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about our upcoming retreat lately. For me this prep isn't something I do very well sitting in an office. The best prep times are usually when I'm taking my dog for a long walk or hike. There are a couple of places not too far away where I can let him off the leash to run through high grass and chase critters. Blizzard comes alive when he gets off the leash. He's a herding dog (Ausie) who can corner quickly and bounce above the highest grass as he runs, almost like a jack rabbit. With keen eyesight and hearing, he's always exploring, looking, searching.

Last weekend Ana and I went for a hike in Forrest Park just before dark. It was starting to rain and hardly anyone was left on the trails as we got away from the roads. Though Ana reminded me of the leash law, I had to let Blizzard off. On the leash, he walks with his head down and stays on the trail, peeing here, sniffing there. Ears at rest. But when I slip the leash up around his head and it falls free, he transforms. The ears perk up, the head lifts, the nose twitches with curiosity. Off he goes, never on the trail. Not long ago, he spotted a coyote and took off after it. Fortunately it must not have been the coyote's main territory, for he ran and seemed to disappear like mist in the trees. Blizzard returned with unbridled doggy joy all over his face. Adventure! I watched life flow back into him from some secret place. Somewhere a spigot opens and purpose, life, joy flow into him.

Perhaps it's a stretch, but I have this feeling that, when the leash is off, he's seeking a lost sheep or goat to rescue and bring back home. As if, somewhere deep in his DNA, in his inner being, there's this compelling voice that says, "Arise! You were made for a purpose. You were created for an adventure far greater than a leash on a well-worn trail."

Ana says I project my feelings onto my dog.

I wonder. . . . nah.
- Curtis

Men of Cedar

2009-02-27T10:44:00.000-08:00

Men of Cedar is our new name - a tad less dorky than that D-Men thing. We just weren't that "D" enough. But let's not talk about that.

The new name is simple, but with a double meaning. Men of Cedar says just who we are - Men from Cedar Hills. However it also has a deeper meaning that Cedar conveys - strength, roots, growth. Cedars in the bible are symbols of steady strength. Psalm 92:12 says,
The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
But Cedars were also trees that symbolized dangerous pride and arrogance if one's trust was put in them alone. So they remind us that we can't stand alone, we can't put our trust in ourselves. We are meant to grow strong with deep roots in God.

So together, as Men of Cedar, we can . . .

Build Character
Build Passion
Build Strength

Our Retreat is coming up fast! It's April 17-19 at Rockaway. Pay by March 1 or the price goes up (I think it's still $85 til then). Our theme this year is Beyond the Daily Grind, and we'll be discussing the book Dare to Desire by John Eldredge. It's only about 130 pages, so you can absorb it before the retreat. It seems to be out of print but you can get copies from Amazon's used site, and I've found it on Half.com and a place called Alibris. Each of these sites have the book for about $2 plus shipping, but it takes perhaps 10 days to arrive. So order it soon and actually read it! (see sample page below)

There's a couple of options for you if two nights away just seems to go too quickly. Neither of these are "mandatory." Just options:

Option 1: The retreat officially begins Friday night. But if you're up for some camping, I'm going to spend Thursday afternoon and night at Nehalem Falls Campground. It's one of the most beautiful spots I've seen and is not far from our weekend house. Let me know if you want to join me and I'll nab some extra spots - they're first come, first nab unless we want a big group site which I could reserve. I've got plenty of tents (like 4!) and some extra snoozerbags. There's a great river, places to hike and God shows up there often. Join me!

Option Two: At the end of the weekend we have the house for an extra free night. So you're invited to stay over Sunday to Monday if you wish. There won't be any agenda and we'll just eat leftovers, but it's a nice time to relax and enjoy each other.

I'll talk more about the retreat theme in upcoming posts. Check out the "poll" below too. It will have a different question about the retreat each week so we can customize it for you. I highly recommend signing up now! It's going to be great.
- Curtis

Sample page from Dare to Desire